Nothin' but a Desperado

Just a couple quizes

2006-03-14T03:19:00.000-07:00

For now, I'm just going to post a couple more quizes I did. Over the weekend I'll make an actual update on some things, but a couple of those things will be happening between now and the weekend, so I wish to wait until I have something to report before I update.

You're Chewbacca

The Classic Star Wars Test
Brought to you by Tickle

Jeff, you're Chewbacca

No disrespect to your hair stylist, but you have more in common with Chewbacca the loyal Wookie than you might think. Like "Chewey," you are a powerful force to be reckoned with. Whether you are playing pick-up sports with friends or interviewing for a job, your competitive nature is virtually unbeatable (and more than a little intimidating). But you have a definite gentle side too — a part of you that is more bark than bite and even longs for a cuddle or two.When it comes to friends, it's quality not quantity. And you're usually the first one on the scene when someone needs a little rescuing (emotional or otherwise). You have a simple sense of right and wrong, and when someone crosses the line, you let them know. You're the ideal righthand man/woman — strong, stable, and ultimately incorruptible.

***

Jeff, your theme song is All Star by Smash Mouth!

With your elevated spirit and go-with-the-flow attitude, "All Star" is the theme song for you. It's the tune that you're humming when you decide to hop in your car and spend a weekend somewhere you've never been. And it's the song you blare on auto-repeat when you're getting lost (though you might call it "exploring") in that same new spot. You know life is sweetest when you live it to its fullest. The risks you take usually pay off, from starting your own business to relocating to another town. You aren't afraid to hit the brakes and speed off in a new direction. Your friends may scratch their heads and wonder when you're going to settle down. But you are definitely not your friends. And when exciting opportunities present themselves, "you'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow." You only get one quarter to play this game, and with "All Star" as your inner beat, you're aiming for high score.

***

Jeff, your love story is Daring!

It's a story even older than Romeo and Juliet; like these adventurous and brave lovers, you're a risk taker who's not afraid to follow your heart and take a chance on love. When you find someone who catches your eye and connects with your mind, you're not going to let meddlers or the outside world get in the way of you and your sweetie being together.With your bold spirit and fearlessness, you and your amour are sure to have many high-flying and fun-filled escapades. So hold onto your hats. You two are sure to keep it interesting. And your love is sure to be one for the history books!

***

Jeff, you keep secrets about your Family

Ah, family. Whose isn't a little dysfunctional? Just the same, you're not gonna write the next great American novel about your family's silly arguments and weird habits. No one needs to know about Aunt Bertha's obsession with dolphin tchotchkes or Grandpa's affection for highballs.It's important to keep those embarrassing secrets to yourself. It's probably even more important to not involve others in what you consider personal business. You've got a great respect and love for your kin, even if they don't always act the way you want them to. Sticking by each other — now that's what family's for.

***

Quizes

2006-02-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

To make up for such an angry post last nught (Which, BTW, I am still severly pissed off about, but let's not go there), I decided to do a handful of quiz things, so here ya go:

How You Are In Love:

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

***

Your Candy Heart Says: "Hug Me"

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out
Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking
What turns you off: fighting and conflict
Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

***

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

***

Your Personality is: Idealist (NF)

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

***

Your 1920's Name is:

Your 1920's Name is:

Cleve Valentine

What's" Your 1920's Name?

***

Your Japanese Name is:

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ringo Sasaki

What's" your Japanese Name?

***

Your Superhero Profile:

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Bat HawkYour Superpower is RappingYour Weakness is Bald PeopleYour Weapon is Your Air BulletsYour Mode of Transportation is Space Shuttle

What's" your Superhero Name?

***

What Animal Were You In A past Life: A Lion

You Were A Lion

You have a lethal combination of strength and energy.You have strong family ties, and close friends are like family to you.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

***

The Movie of Your Life is: An Indy Flick

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!
Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Yeah, that's right. I knew I was Superman.

2006-01-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

One of my friends pointed me to this wodnerful fun site: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=Jeff&gender=m

Type in a name, the gender, and then it generates some random 'fun' facts. here's mine:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jeff!
Jeff can fly at an average speed of fifteen kilometres an hour.
Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of Jeff.
Jeff can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Jeff!
The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as Jeff.
Jeff can use only about ten percent of his brain.
Scientists have discovered that Jeff can smell the presence of autism in children!
The horns of Jeff are made entirely from hair!
A Jeffometer is used to measure Jeff.
Jeff can clean his ears with his tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long!

***

In other news, I've now got a website activated, in whcih I'm in the process of putting my stories and scripts on. That can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/desperado_newfie/home.html

I'll make another post in a few days for some new movie reviews, btu I do wanna take a minute now to say that if you have not seen Four Brothers yet, then go out and do so right now. GREAT movie. And while you're at it, if you have not yet watched Crash, rent that at the same time. Two great movies in one night. Can't go wrong with that, can ya? Exactly, so go do it.

Jeff's Film Reviews Part 1

2005-12-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

I'm really bored, so I decided to post some more of my movie reviews and mini-reviews.

Urban Legends 3: Bloody Mary
6/10

I love all kinds of movies, but horror is by far my favorite. I love all kinds of horror from remakes, to PG-13 toned down, to Direct-to-Video, to forgien, to film festival winners, to the classics. If it's horror, chances are I'll like it. With that said, I LOVED Urban Legends and enjoyed Urban Legends 2: Final Cut, but didn't like it nearly as much as the first. When I heard that a third part was being made, and that it was going to be DtV (Direct-to-Video), although I like to give everything a fair chance, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about the otucome. Well it came out on video a couple months ago and I finaly got around to watching it. How did I like it? Well I enjoyed it more then the second movie at least.

The film opens up in the 70's, and deals with a bunch of high school jocks playing a date-rape like prank on a group of girls at their Prom. One of the girls, Mary Banner, gets away and is chased through the empty school by one of the jocks and during a scuffle in the attic, she accidently gets killed. Flashforward to the present and a group of girls are home alone on their own prom night, without dates, having a sleepover. One of the girls, the main charcter, is the school reporter and had recently published an embarrasing story about the jocks. Anyway, they sit around their little sleeping bags in the livign room and tell urban legend stories. Before going to sleep, they decide to try the Bloody Mary one, but nothing happens. The next day, when the mother and brother of one of the main chick wakes up, they discover that the girls are missing. After a police investigation that lasts a couple days, the girls return home, covered in dirt and they don't remember what happened. They slowly start to get their memories back and it's revealed that the jocks drugged them and put them in an abandonded building in the woods, as a prank to scare them as revenge for the article. It's the same prank that resulted in the death of Mary Banner a dozen years before. During the rest of the movie, the ghost of Mary dispatches of the jocks and all those responsible for the new prank in the matter of various urban legends. However, the main chick and her brother keep getting blamed for everything, as people think they'd want revenge on the jocks for what they did. Also, earlier in the movie, the brother threatened the main jock for what he did to hsi sister.

One of the main things about this movie that I really enjoyed, is that there was this uncommon oldies song playing when Mary was killed. Whenever she starts stalking someone in present day time, that song starts playing from somewhere (Most of the time the radio). If I ever hear that song on the radio, you can bet your ass that I'll be outta there as quick as a rabbit on speed.

There was one scene that was diffinitly a rip-off of a scene from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (Which by the way, this movie feels more like one of those then an Urban Legend movie), but it was still really cool none the less as it was put to good use. There was also another scene, which is quite possible the money shot of this movie, where a chick wakes up with a spider egg sack on the side of her face and boy, it sure is a disturbing scene when that sack breaks open. The movie diffinitly doesn't hold back on the gore. Actualy, I think it's probably the goriest of the series, but of course part of that is probably due to the fact that it was DtV and so it was able to get away with alot more then it would have, had it been Theatrical.

The whole winter atmosphere works really well here, much like it did in the second movie. You actualy almost feel chilly yourself when you see them standing around a snowy landscape, seeing their breath in the air. I've seen far too many movies where the charcters are standing around, shivering in the cold, yet when they talk, their breath isn't shown. And is it just me, or does the main female lead heavily resemble a young Neve Campbell from when she was in the first Scream movie? Hopefully we'll be seeing mroe of her in future horror movies.

There are a few twists in it as well. Most I saw coming from a mile away, but there were a couple I was surprised at. One scene in particular kept me guessing as to how the character was going to die. The scene incorperated at least 3 common urban legends in it, and each one was the one I thought would be the one that kills him when they were shown. There were also a few smaller things I really enjoyed. The events from the second movie were mentioned in a newspaper clipping in this movie. In another scene, this woman has a scrapbook of urban legends and on one page there is a drawn picture of the Parka Killer from the first movie, holding an axe and all. Small homages like that, I always really enjoy.

On the downside though, I do have a few complaints. The first is the whole idea behind the plot. Mary's ghost first appeared when they did the whole Bloody Mary thing, but they did not do it in front of a mirror. They just chanted her name three times as they laid in their sleeping bags, staring at the ceiling, and she appeared. And it was never ever explained if that was what summoned her spirit, or if she was always wandering around. And if she was, why didn't she kill the people who killed her? Instead she waits to go after the next generation that pulls the same prank. There is a very small explanation given, but I don't buy it. The only explanation is that "The children always suffer the sins of the fathers." Just no. That's not a real explanation and I don't buy it. It comes across more as something the writers couldn't think of a decent answer for, so through that together at the last minute. It also never explains why she picks urban legends as a way of killing people. Guess the writers couldn't think of a decent explanation, so just said 'Screw it' and hope that no one botheres to question it.

Also, just about every character was hardly explored apart from the main lead. She was the only one who stood out above any of the other characters. All the others were just background cardboard cut-outs pretty much, and I really disliked that. She was the only character we really got to know. Her brother did have a bit more characterization then everyone else as well, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. The jocks were idiots as well and deserved to die. Beyond not being able to tell them apart from their personalities and having no characterization whatsoever, they are also complete idiots. Anyone who goes to take a piss on a fence marked with a high volatage warning, deserves what he gets.

On thing I found very annoying is that it kept flashing back to scenes that take place during the time period of the intro, but they're all really short scenes and add nothing at all to the movie. I feel the scenes would have flowed ALOT better if they were just all shown together in the intro. For example, the intro ends with one of the jocks hiding the body of Mary in a trunk, and then later on in the movie, in a quick flashback that just comes out of the blue in between two scenes, we see him close the trunk and lock it, and then we cut back to the present. Now if they felt they REALLY needed to show that 5-second pointless scene, it would have made more sense to put it in the intro with the rest of the scene. Another of those small things that really annoyed me, is that they dig through frozen ground in the middle of winter quicker then it would take to dig through the ground in the middle of summer. There were a few small things like those, that kind of annoyed me.

With a few very small changes, this could have easily been the third I Know What You Did Last Summer movie, and I think it would have fit in better in that series. Still, despite my many complaints, it was still an enjoyible enough DtV horror sequal that I didn't enjoy as much as the first movie, but diffinitly liked more then the second.

Gen13: The Animated Movie
3/10

Most of you probably don't know what Gen13 is, so I'll take a couple minutes here to explain it to you. It was a comic series that ran for 78 issues (With a ton of Specials and spin-off mini-series' along the way), dealing with a group of teenagers that had 'mutant-like' abilities called the Gen Factor that were awakened from being dormant, by some Government scientists. They escaped the government labs with the help of a guy named John Lynch, who used to work for that Government section at one time, and the rest of the series deals with them fighting monthly big bads and trying to hide from the government. It was easily one of my favorite comic series'. It was also created by the same dude that made the completly kick-ass Danger Girl mini-series and had the same style of writing and art.

Anyway, onto the unrealesed animated movie adaptation: Wow, what a horrible, horrible, horrible adapation of my favorite comic series. I can see now why it ended up never being realesed. The animation is piss poor. Every voice actor was the worst possible choice for those characters with the exception of Mark Hammill (Yes, as in Luke Skywalker) for the charcter of Threshold and the dude that did John Lynch's voice (Name escapes me at the moment. He's not famous). It wasn't quite what I had in mind, but atleast it still worked. In the comics, Grunge was pretty much the 'Mikey from TMNT' of the group. In this, he is given the most stupid voice ever and portrayed as a mentally retarded person. The voice of Fairchild is too small and weak for such a strong character and it doesn't suit her AT ALL. The voice of Freefall is done by the person that did the voice of Tommy on Rugrats and she does nothing at all to change it from that. Someone should have told her that a baby male voice does NOT fit a reblious female teenage punk.

Ontop of those things, they completly removed Burnout and Bliss (One of my favorite characters) altogether and gave Rainmaker two short scenes, only one with any dialouge which was one line. What an insult to the original material. They also removed small side-characters but that doesn't piss me off nearly as much, as I could understand why those side characters were removed - They didn't really add anything at all to the overall story and was just a way to flesh a couple issues out).

The movie is basicly an animated adaptation of the Gen13 prequel 5-issue mini-series, however it cuts ALOT out and changes almost as much so it's hardly regonizible. In a few (Very few) cases, this is a good thing, as they added in extra scenes that were almost needed in the comic to flesh out some of the charcters, but for the most part it just fucked it all up even more.

The only redeeming factors I found in this, was Mark Hammil as Threshold, the dude that did Lynch's voice, the musical score (It was fuckin' bad ass), and the high amount of violence and blood along with a few scenes nudity. This is diffinitly not a kid's cartoon, which is good. Done by Disney, I was worried they'd censor alot of the tone of the comics, but they don't. Beyond that, there isn't much I liked here and am severly dissipointed. Thank god it was never realesed. I heard there was supposed to be a live-action movie made, but this film supposidly ruined all chances of that. And now that the series has been over for 3 or 4 years, and the company has been bankrupt and bought out by D.C. Comics, I doubt there's ever gonna be another movie. Such a shame.

Now onto the Mini-Reviews section:

Shaun of the Dead
10/10

A great movie that is side- spitting funny and has a great amount of gore. Lots of cool characters, lots of cleverness and just a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Fans of either horror or comedy should get a good jolt out of this flick.

I, Robot
9/10

A very good sci/fi movie with lots of top-of-the-line special effects and kickass action scenes. Also a nice amount of humor thanks to Will Smith. A fun movie all around, however I felt it dragged on just a tad bit longer then it should have.

Finding Neverland
9/10

Absolutly stunningly beutiful movie. The acting from everyone, even the kid actors, were top knotch. The music, the sets, the emotion - everything was top knotch in this movie. I also really enjoyed how they showed his imagination in lots of the scenes. Although the end was extreamly predictible and forseeible from within the first 20 minutes, it didn't ruin the impact of it in the slightest.

And now for just some ratings:

Gargoyles: The Complete First Season - 10/10
She-Creature - 8.5/10
Shredder - 8/10
Alien Hunter - 7/10
Tuck Everlasting - 7/10
Demonic Toys - 7/10
Octopus 2: River of Fear - 6.5/10
Dollman vs Demonic Toys - 6/10
Napolean Dynamite - 5/10
Scarecrow Slayer - 5/10
Scarecrow - 4/10

Be sure to be on the look-out for the next group of movies I review.